A demon took over me in Las Vegas

I needed a cab as I could walk no longer. I thought about it, and I payed him. I realized I didn't care if it was real or not. I couldn't believe the abundance of supply; I couldn't believe how we found each other. It was 5am and I was dressed my best - crumpled, all Hugo Boss Selection - from the night that began with good intentions. At some point, I just walked off... I think I spent the last couple hours passed out at a massage parlour, and I must have thrown my cell phone at the girl who wouldn't let me sleep any longer. My friends, they abandoned me. I'm sure they felt the same about me. It occured to me that I did not even revist the places where I loved her. So much for the poetics.

How intriguing I must be - downright cool, strutting - in the priority bus stop sitting, not knowing there is no bus. I didn't care, I was waiting for my taxi anyway. The cab pulls out, drives a few feet, mysterious...and I'm out. The whole transaction lasting a few yards. I am like I always wonder, at people driving on the freeway, people on the Strip...how I'm longing to see, go home with them tonight. Smoke weed and see a Maybach in a shady scene, parking in a mediocre apartment lot, I picture the girl, her smile, her voice, and the way she must be looking at him...how mischievious her lips will be that night.

I walk staring down at all times - I'm busy, and the girls know. Swaggering as I'm staggering, How intriguing I must be, sexy like a turn on, sitting with my legs crossed, the Thinker, smoking my cigarette like I'm on heroin. I thought everybody knew my story, or that I had one to tell. Mine was different, not vulgar, ghetto or measly, like all those others before me. I am nothing new.

...you don't understand - one tear comes out and my mouth contorts, and I don't know if I just laughed or cried or what to do next. It's the irrational purging of Drain-O and rat poison. I never wanted to snuff it more than today, but it's only for one day, caught in the moment. Tomorrow I'll be a clown again. I'll erase this in the morning.